This week's fun lines, sayings or quotes.

[pommystuart]

Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair.
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... an unbiased opinion is always absolutely valueless.
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Opportunity: A favourable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
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An optimist is a man who starts a crossword puzzle with a fountain pen.
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At six I was left an orphan. What on earth is a six-year-old supposed to do with an orphan?
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An oyster is a fish built like a nut.
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There's nothing moister.
Than an oyster
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[Michael]

Good ones, Stuart!

[pommystuart]

Opportunity - A good chance that always looks bigger going than coming.

If you want to know how many friends you have, just buy a cottage on a lake.

God must love the common man, he made so many of them. (Abraham Lincoln)

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important. (Bertrand Russell)

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.

In spite of the cost of living it’s still popular. (Kathleen Norris)

[Michael]

[Randi]

"The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him."

Very sound advice!

[pommystuart]

"What the hell are tigers doing in an African jungle? Doesn't he know that tigers can only be found in Asia?"
"You know it, and I know it, but do TIGERS know it??"
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"Animals, which move, have limbs and muscles. The Earth does not have limbs and muscles; therefore it does not move".
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Cats know precisely when their owners will wake up. Then promptly awaken them 10 minutes earlier.
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No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
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Never try to out-stubborn a cat.
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You can lead a horse to water!!
Get him to float on his back, and you've got something.
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I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
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To Noah!
The only man in history, who has been able to float a limited company, while the rest of the world has gone into liquidation.
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[Michael]

[pommystuart]

Some for the computer OW's

Always draw your curves, then plot the readings.
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Variables won't; constants aren't.
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The world's best programmer has to be someone.
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The more humanlike a computer becomes, the less it spends time computing, and the more time it spends time doing more human like work.
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A software committee of one is limited by its own horizon, and will specify software only that far.
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When the system programmers declare the system works, it has worked, and will work again some day.
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All the world's an analog stage, and digital computers play only bit parts.
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[Michael]

[Michael]

From my elder daughter who had it passed to her from my younger son. They both work for organizations that dream the impossible dream.

What a gorgeous little emergency you've created.

• For when someone's poor planning arrives on your desk at 4:47 PM.

Let's not put a cap on the bare minimum.

• For when someone wants a standing ovation for answering an email.

I'm going to need everyone to panic in alphabetical order.

• For when five people message you simultaneously about the same problem.

That plan has the structural integrity of wet toast.

• For when success requires: The client agreeing; Nobody getting sick; and, Absolutely nothing unexpected happening.

I support this decision from a safe emotional distance.

• For when leadership selects the exact option you warned against.

This meeting has become legally longer than the problem.

• For when 14 adults spend an hour discussing something that took seven minutes to fix.

I'm unavailable for the sequel.

• For when the same disaster returns six months later... with slightly different branding.

Let's put that idea back in the oven.

• For when someone delivers a half-baked strategy and asks whether you can launch it tomorrow.

Is this feedback... or are we just free-styling?

• For when your performance review includes words like: More; Different; and, Somehow.

I admire the confidence with which we're ignoring the data.

• For when the spreadsheet says absolutely not, but someone's intuition would like another meeting.

I need everyone to lower their expectations to a medically reasonable level.

• For when you receive: Five top priorities; Three urgent requests; and, One nervous system.

I would love to be excluded from the character-building experience.

• For when someone invites you to fix a project that has been on fire since February.

[pommystuart]

Like it.

[pommystuart]

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
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Don't drink and drive - Smoke dope and fly home.
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Penicillin - The only thing to give a man who has everything.
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A glutton is the person who beats you to the last bit of cake.
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Be careful of reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
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Happiness is good health, and a bad memory.
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Exercise is best started gradually. Today I shall attempt to register a pulse.

[Michael]

[pommystuart]

To make up for the weeks I missed posting.

Some old classics.


“The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down."   T.S. Elliot

"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us; at age 40, we don't care what they think of us; at age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all."
Ann Landers

"The important thing to remember is that I'm probably going to forget."  Unknown

"It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone."  Andy Rooney

"The older I get, the better I used to be."  Lee Trevino

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me. They’re cramming for their final exam."  George Carlin

"Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother that does."
J. Norman Collie

"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except exercising, getting up early, or being respectable."
Oscar Wilde

"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for."  Will Rogers

"We must recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars — more and more repairs and replacements are necessary."  C.S. Lewis

"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened."  Jennifer Yanez

"I'm so old that my blood type is discontinued."  Bill Dana

"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.”  Mark Twain

Old people shouldn't eat healthy foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.

[Michael]

[pommystuart]

Jogging is 50% mental. PANT, PANT, JOG, SWEAT, JOG, SWEAT.
I'll work the other 50% off some other time!!
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Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.
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It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
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A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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If you wish to succeed, consult three old people.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
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I have a simple philosophy.
Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.
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[Michael]

[Randi]

Reading the news just now, I was reminded of the comment of an old friend...

"When I start feeling sorry for myself, I watch the news."